The art of listening

Written by admin on December 11, 2015

In my role as the executive trainer and coach, I see a lot of people don't really listen to each other. This has many negative spin-offs such as frustration, loss of commitment and connection, waste of time, and last but not least, a waste of money and effort for all persons involved company.

Floods and defensive

What makes listening to most of them so difficult?

Daniel Goleman refers to the term ‘flooding’ or floods. We listen often from a hypersensitive or defensive position, from our own standpoint, our own world. We are often more interested in ourselves than in the other (s). Defensive listening involves the perception of a threat to what we want to achieve, obtain, to hold, to our own ego. This can be a KPI, a bonus, a view, or something else for that matter.

Life in our own world

Take a look at this checklist below (which are by far not completely) and decide for yourself what your own trend is. This is the first step: become aware of what you are doing and that you mostly focused on yourself!

Step two is / would be: a conscious choice to (a) other(s) to listen and may be surprised at what you can learn and/or supplement for the larger value of the project, company or team in which you work. In short, rather build a bridge between you and the other(s), not a wall!

Your way of listening is .......?

To our spirit to tame and open up to listen, we must first have better understanding of the sounds that play in us! Below are some of the patterns he can listen. Which are most valid to you?

• Listen for opportunities to intelligent to come
• Listen for a chance to be funny
• Listen to how important can sound
• Listen to obtain information that you want
• Listening to external distractions such as other noises, music, etc.
• Listen to what is happening with the other person
• Listen to your own thoughts and thus do not completely listen to others
• Listen to see how you can help
• Listen to the problem to understand
• Listen to how you can benefit

So what to do?

Build a bridge instead of a wall

By listening to the other, of course, you can see what you have in common, what you don't have in common, what you can add to, what the other(s) can add. A common focus helps in the long term for many reasons that are worth discovering.

Translated by Yandex.Translate and Global Translator

Posted in the category Blogs
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Natasha van Dalen

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